Top cop remembers big bully battle from 39 years ago
Posted Feb 16, 2012 By Desmond DevoyEMC News - He's a big guy now and he carries a gun.
So it's hard to believe that, 39 years ago, Const. Steve Stresman of the OPP was himself bullied as an 11-year-old student in Grade 6 in Pembroke.
He still remembers it vividly. And he remembers how it stopped.
"I remember that incident like it just happened," said Stresman during a presentation on bullying to Jill Ellison's Grade 4, 5 and 6 class at Carambeck Public School on Jan. 30. "I remember everyone who was there, the weather, what people were wearing."
A little boy named Peter had just moved to his school, and he was firm and determined to make life a living hell for everyone.
"He would kick every time he could," said Stresman.
One day, the students were heading out the door for lunch. At the top of a flight of steel stairs, Stresman saw Peter coming up behind him.
"He was winding up for the kick of the century," said Stresman. But thankfully for Stresman, a teacher was waiting at the top of the stairs.
It was time for him to take a stand and finally confront Peter after months of torture, even after he had repeatedly asked him to stop.
So, Peter wound up for his kick. But instead of connecting with Stresman's backside, "I caught his foot and I'm holding on for dear life."
As Peter struggled to keep his footing, Stresman stood his ground, so to speak.
"I yelled at the top of my lungs," said Stresman. "You've been kicking me since you got here. I've asked you to stop. I don't know what is wrong with you, but this has to stop."
He drew himself up to full height, and extended his arms out wide.
"Bring it on," he said. "Right now. Right in front of her," he said, nodding to the teacher.
"I gave him a free shot," Stresman said.
Instead of winding up for the shot, however, Peter put his hands in to his pocket, lowered his head, and walked away.
"He never, ever, ever said a word to me, touched me, or talked to me (again)," said Stresman. "Bullying sticks with you."
Peter was very short for his age, and Stresman told his young audience that the class bully might not necessarily look like a bully.
"One of the schools I go to has the littlest girl (as the bully)," he said.
"It can be anybody ... A bully is a person who has power over someone. They can be manipulative to get you to do things. A bully will go at one person and one person only. That's where they have the most power."
Stresman brought along his own copy of the Criminal Code of Canada to underline just how tough penalties for bullying can be and how bullying can follow both the victim and the perpetrator throughout their life.
"You've got a big, complicated life, this is a big, complicated book," said Stresman. "This book is all about your life."
He noted that being a bully can be an indicator of possible future criminal behaviour. By the age of 24, 60 per cent of bullies have criminal records.
"They come to see me," said Stresman.
Later in life, a potential employer can ask to see someone's student record, and evidence of being a bully can be a red flag that could cost someone a job.
"If you are a bully, I can pretty much guarantee that it will be on your student record," said Stresman.
Modern day bullying has a new component that students have to contend with.
"If what you are doing in person is illegal, it is a crime online," said Stresman.
"You don't put anything in an email that you wouldn't want on the front page of The New York Times ... (and) if you are getting bullied on the computer, don't respond, tell someone about it."
He also pointed out to the students that while youngsters can be arrested at any age, they can only be charged under the Youth Criminal Justice Act at the age of 12.
"I arrested two eight-year-olds who were having a knife fight in a school," said Stresman, to the gasps of some students. But he hastened to add that he could not charge them with anything because of their age.
"It's not right to feel rotten about someone bullying you," said Stresman. "Nobody has the right to make you feel rotten in this country, especially a bully."
desmond.devoy@metroland.com
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